Day 21 - MyFamily

We all have them, I happen to like mine! Most everyday anyway! I don't live so close to them so maybe that is why I like them so much. However, I don't think so. I miss living close to LiLBlue especially. It's not easy being so far away from my parents either, especially as they age. Doctors and even hospital stays are hard to navigate through on the phone. We do manage and I try to make it home often but seems like life is in the way most of the time. And I do mean L.I.F.E. cause I am living it!

Anyway, my family is pretty small, it's just me and my three second sisters. There are of course all my nieces and nephews and then the Littles along with a few aunts, uncles and lots of cousins. MiB has three siblings as well, one is his twin and then a brother and a sister each along with his parents, a niece and a whole slew of aunts, uncles and cousins.

My family is far from perfect, I actually come from divorced parents...I know, I hate it but I do still have the love and support of my parents. By parents I mean my father who raised me and the woman he married when I was almost 18. I call her my second mother, hence the three second sisters above, I didn't get them the first time around but I did the second. I'm sure glad I did! Honestly, in the beginning I know I didn't feel that way after having my dad to myself all those years but now I see the major part they all play in my life and I am so very thankful it is the way it is.

In my own little family it is just the three of us. The other two make my life complete and make some days worth it all. They are my heart. Family is incredible they are the heart and soul of life and they are what they are...warts and all. I can tell you this, I love mine, period, no question about it.

MyFamily

 Soon we will be adding the Bud to our numbers!

Family is definitely a part of my ordinary life!

 

The Day + # post explained here.

Thankful for my experiences

I really am thankful for the experiences I have had, those that were good and not so good. These experiences have shaped me, made me who I am, good and not so good! I have thoughts, very passionate thoughts on many issues due to the things I have experienced. One of those is divorce. I hate divorce, I am a product of divorce, I have such disdain for the process, I have no doubt I will not change my thought process on this but I do understand it. Doesn't mean I like it, I hate it, but I already said that. It's how I feel due to my own personal experience. I'm sure you have your own life shaping experiences. And even with the negative experience I have in regards to divorce it has made me have a determination to not experience one in my own marriage.

Another one for me is the military. I love the military and all that it means, and trust me I GET IT, what it truly means. After 25 years of being married to the military I'm pretty sure I can speak to the military lifestyle as far as from a spouses perspective. Those who have never served, or been impacted by someone who has served just cannot grasp this in my opinion. And since less then 1% of our nation's population chooses to serve there are many who do not get the concept of the military. This is through no fault of their own, however, I do wish more people would realize this is a great sacrifice and not take their freedom for granted. Still I love our military experiences and would not want to have it any other way!

I am also thankful I have had the honor of being a parent. It has not been easy, in fact it's been downright tough on many a day, we have had our portion of trials; we are not perfect parents, we did not have a a perfect child. The teen years nearly killed us, not to mention the couple years leading up to those teen years. However, God sustained us and here we are with a full blown legal to vote nearly legal to buy booze child. Scary isn't it? I know getting through the teen years was challenging and MiB and I never took on the parenting style of being your child's friend. In fact, we were the ones who were probably more involved and more accountability then most of our child's peers parents. LilBlue had a tough road, we did not allow her to roam free, we mandated check ins, calling in for change of plans, meeting dates before dates, chaperoned events, etc. Even with all this we still experienced some lying issues, a little rebellion, a lot of attitude, oh my, I'm thankful those days are behind us. However, I am also thankful we did not have a teen pregnancy, we did not have illegal drug use, alcohol incidents or trouble with the law. We have much to be thankful for and I would not trade the parenting experiences we have had though I would do some things differently given the opportunity.

So those are are just a few of the experiences I have had that have made me who I am...there are many, many more but I am going to leave it at this...it's supper time and I am ready to sit down and enjoy a quite evening at home. MiB will be along shortly after a little ice breaker social for his conference this week. One nice thing is that it is a local conference so he will be home each night :)

Thankful for FACEBOOK!

Really, I am thankful for FB! It's a craze I know and I kept up with it much better in it's earlier days, but I still love it. It's such a neat avenue to keep in touch.

I have to admit I have defriended people, I know, I know, but I'm still a pretty nice person! It's just that after we are friends I see that your posts are pretty raunchy for me and my world so I hit DELETE. I have also just ignored friend request, seriously, I have! I have sometimes felt kind of bad about that, like if I know you or I just don't know you well enough to be my friend or if I just think it's awwwkward. So if we just met or you know my husband don't friend me cause I'm pretty sure I'm not going to confirm you! Other times I have just honestly not known you. I have even messaged some of our "friends in common" to try and find out who you are and still been uncertain. I feel good about having some parameters with FB it works for me.

Oh and I have totally been defriended as well...yeah, I know, GASP, right? Earlier this year my, at the time, SiL defriended me. She has since become my no longer SiL. I wasn't really sure why at first I was defriended then it became apparent it was an across the board defriending as she defriended all things Mxxxxm. When the whole Big D started going down I had thought there might be some sort of neutral contact/relationship but once the defriend thing happened I guess that pretty much told me/us that option was off the table. Not to worry, I still get messages from her..yes, you read that right and I personally find it totally, well, awkward. I mean you defriend me then you wish me Happy 25th anniversary and Happy Birthday, I just don't get that. But then again I always did have a hard time wrapping my brain around her inner thought processes. I felt we had much to agree on, we were after all married to Mxxxxm Men, but when push came to shove it is my belief she never fully committed to or trusted hers. Enough of this though! The post is not about that it's about my being thankful for FB.

So anyway, I am a FB fan, it's been a wonderful way to stay in touch with those who we have been closer to at one time or another. It's a neat way to see into the lives of those you once shared so much more with and do to time or location that is no longer possible. It's awesome to sit and read up on what's going on with those you enjoy. I am thankful I have that. It's the little things...one of my friends had this post recently and it sums it up pretty well!

To every single one of you who are on my friends list --I enjoy catching up, hearing
about you and your family, sharing jokes and news, along with getting and sometimes giving support during good times and bad times too. I am not only glad
to count you as my friends, but also as my family. Thank you all so very much for being part of my life!!

Happy Wednesday!

Thoughts on Thursday...

My thoughts today are cheerless...if you came looking for a funny story or a laugh you will not find in today.

Another BIG D has hit our family. I have to say in all honesty I had a feeling this day was going to come, in fact, I am surprised that the marriage lasted as long as it did. I recall perfectly the night we got the phone call letting us know that he was getting married...MiB and I both looked at each other and said many prayers that night before going to bed. Honestly, we prayed for something to prevent it from happening cause we both felt it wasn't right.

It was a "rush job" in our opinion (and NO there was not a baby on the way, that's a whole other issue), a decision being made on not such good reasoning. I won't go into that, it's not really my story to tell, but suffice to say MiB and I had our doubts. It's never good to have the "I told you so" card on your side, but there was a solid talk before the wedding took place, he knew he should have never walked the aisle that afternoon and he did it anyway. So here we are some nearly 14 years later and he is walking down the aisle again today! Only this time it is to the judges bench in a courtroom where the gavel will bang down and what was will no longer be. A shame really, due to many, many reasons, many reasons if I so wanted I could probably make a case for ending my very own marriage..if I wanted to be that selfish. Yes, seriously, I think I could have a case for divorcing if I had that mindset. My MiB takes after his dad and some of those characteristics aren't that flattering and we live a military life of lots of stress and separation but thankfully, we worked through this, we come up with ways to love each other unconditionally, to think positive, to not dwell on all the negative. I have my own set of faults in this too! People, there are NO PERFECT PEOPLE, well, excuse me, there was one...you do know what happened to him? Yeah, it wasn't pretty...

So anyway I could go on and on and on, on this, but let me start wrapping up by saying this, I mean if you are still reading to this point I want to say something more encouraging on marriage! Your marriage should be NUMBER ONE! It should be your primary area of concerns, you should be focusing on it ALWAYS. Guard it with your life, make it your goal to make good decisions regarding your marriage, your home. There are people out there who would love to be in your shoes, they will do for your spouse what you do not, they will gladly step in so guard your marriage with your life! If you have children, they are very important but your marriage is more important. I believe the greatest thing we have given LilBlue is our example of marriage and while not perfect she has witnessed give and take, unconditional love between us, working out issues and romance.

As I said I could sooooo go on and on and say sooooo many more things, not even it was his fault, it was her fault things, they both had faults! Trust ME on this one!!! However, the nuts and bolts of it are this: a marriage is over, and like I said they both had their shortcomings, we all do, but seriously there could have been resolution if had been wanted; there could have been happiness many moons ago had there been more of an honest partnership, if you get married it shouldn't be an adversarial atmosphere, your spouse is NOT the enemy. And I think God should play a big role...you should be in it together and for the long haul.

It saddens me to think that people who choose divorce think God is in it and is blessing the mess they made of His holy institution, I mean, really? Are you kidding me? God ain't proud of you...does he still love you? Yes, but he is grieved and unhappy with your choices.

God is not happy about divorce, PERIOD. You can be excited, happy, sad, mad whatever, but rest assured GOD HATES DIVORCE and people who let their marriage go are selfish, self centered, egotistical, disobedient, irresponsible and a whole host of other things that could make your blood pressure rise if it hasn't already... and I hate divorce, too. My parents were divorced, I hated that! I have issues with divorce (not divorced people but divorce, there IS a difference) in case you didn't pick up on that. And if you don't like my stance sorry, it's MY BLOG, I can say pretty much whatever I want cause again, it's my blog to voice my life and things that happen within my life.

My dad did not want a divorce, G did not want a divorce, it stinks to go through this as one of the parties getting the divorce who didn't want it, but let me tell you it royally stunk to be the kid going through it as well. Thankfully, there were no children born into this union; however, their are two that came with the marriage who are now grown and unfortunately screwing up their own lives and those of their children....boundaries people, boundaries. It is my belief that had solid partnership parenting been involved in the rearing of these two you would see a difference in their lives but again that didn't happen and now the result of this is playing out. It isn't pretty from what little I know and the shame of it is the children are now going to be the product of this same type of unhealthy, adversarial environment.

I am going to get off this topic now, it's a downer and again, if I offended you, well...I am sorry for that, I think that stinks, but I make the posts on here and this is how I feel and how I see it and so it is what it is. Tomorrow will be a new day..