It was 25 years ago today that I said "YES" when MiB asked me to marry him...I knew he was the one for me and I wanted to keep him so when he asked I was definitely saying yes!!! We picked out the ring together at the local jewelry store and then he went to ask my dad if he could marry me before he would let me have it. That was a memorable evening for us, my dad didn't just give a "sure" or even "yes" it was a nearly 2 hour speech which MiB still vividly recalls to this day :) He often recalls bits and pieces to LilBlue and other young ones we encounter. I would say there are no secrets in our marriage, no magic potions, just a lot of honesty that has gotten us through the years. Our life is not a fairytale no matter what Ms Vada says/thinks but it is often magical because we still work very hard to make it that way. We have, fortunately, been blessed with good Godly examples of marriages. I was the product of the big "D" and wanted no part of that, who would, and in reality I don't think anyone plans for that; however, it is something that happens. I do not think anyone is immune from that possibility and if you do feel that way, IMO you are already at a disadvantage, all marriages are vulnurable, period.
So what has sustained us? Like I said there is no magic potion that I am aware of...but there is a lot of patience, lots of unconditional love, laughter and a love of God, not in that order... We try to honor each other every day, we try to keep it fresh and new, we try to not fall into ruts, (I had my first surfing lesson yesterday, I wouldn't try that for just anyone!), we keep God first and balance all the other demands in our life. We are pulled in many directions with MiB's job, we make the choice to do those things we can do together before we choose those things we do separately, some people think we are joined at the hip, I don't think that's necessarily a bad thing :) and we really aren't, we each have some different interests that we keep up with but we do try to make sure we aren't consumed by them. We try to heed that advice given to us from those who have succeeded, such as
- NEVER, ever, ever go to bed mad
- Treat each other as you are still dating
- Do not speak poorly of your mate to anyone
Don't kid yourself, we have had our own set of ups and downs...we have not always kept to the solid advice give but we have tried. We have also done marriage retreats, couples weekends and rented ears...all to make sure we stayed on solid ground. We have worked through some deep issues, we have had "moments", we are human, life is not always a cake walk and far from perfect but we try to continue to grow together in our marriage and we continually give God the glory for our life. It's worked for us and we have thankfully avoided a marriage on the rocks. I pray daily for MiB and I know he does the same for me, we pray together, we worship together, we do life together, we do not live separate lives and live under the same roof, we do it together, ALL of it, the good, the better and the best~
I am so glad I said, YES" all those years ago!
143 MiB :)
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