That was the "what's on your mind" statement I just posted on FB a few minutes ago...really, it's not totally true, but it just sounded right since it is Monday, it is raining and I happen to be down today.
A late night phone call, lots of tears and more late night phone calls and a few texts later and it's a new day...
But the lingering thoughts of what is the outcome really going to be are swirling around my head this morning. I have been, as A would say, "close to tears" all morning. It all started with several phone calls from lil'blue last week who is stressing over school. So much so that she is emotionally overwrought during most of our conversations, so much so, that it rips my guts out to even answer the phone when I see that she is calling. She is as some would say, having a rough go. What can a mom do when she is 1400 miles away? Pray...pray without ceasing as we are told this in Thessalonians, oh trust me, I have been doing that, no question! Then I saw on one of my other FB friends wall this..."The Lord will keep you from all harm --he will watch over your life; the LORD will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore." Psalm 121:7-8 This applies to my child, too. He will keep her from all harm, he will watch over her life and he will watch over her coming and going now and forever. So I find comfort in that, but the reality is I fear for her, for her loneliness, for her dislike of college, for, well, for a lot more reasons then I shall write about to protect her privacy. But let's just say, I would desperately covet your prayers for her, as I feel so far away and unable to physically lessen her worries. I pray that you would remember her as you pray that she finds comfort and an earthly friend to help brighten her days at school. That she would continue to seek out friendships and not retreat to the solitary space of her room; that she see God in the flesh through someone who she crosses paths with, that she is able to spot His hand of mercy, that He radiantly shine upon her today and each day with His favor in her classes.
She is 19 years old, I have to allow her to make choices, to do things in her own way, she must. I cannot always step in to solve things for her, to make her choices. I soooo want her to make decisions (good ones but I know there will be some not so good ones as well), it is part of the maturing process, right?, it is part of the whole becoming an adult. However, it is NOT at all easy to see and especially through phone calls that are tear filled. So thank you for prayers said from a mom who loves her child and is watching from afar as she struggles to successfully find her way on a road that seems to always be uphill,
Monday, February 1, 2010
Friday, January 29, 2010
AAAaaackkkkk...
I soooo forgot it was Thursday yesterday. Yeah, well, it's been a wee bit busy in my world. Took a trip "up north" (Florida panhandle) last week and internet capabilities were not readily available and the schedule was pretty full so I gave myself a pass...however, I had full intentions of getting one done for this week and lo and behold the day slipped away and I was not on the computer much at all; I turned in early and so totally missed my "Thursday Thoughts" posting moment.
Anyway, here we are, it's Friday...guests will be here for dinner this evening and we have a fancy-smancy function on Saturday night. This week has been meetings, lunches, dinners with friends from past assignments and fun stuff like that. I have also been catching up on some scrap booking. I am organizing the "undone" years and plan to tackle them in the near future. It's not unattainable so I plan to just jump in and do it!
There is change on the horizon and we are trying to map out how that will look, suffice to say we are in the know on our next assignment and the phrase I have been using is, "it's a he, not a we." For those of you that may not quite get it, that means MiB is going back to the BIG sandbox this summer for a 365. I know that is part of the life we lead so I am trying to figure out how that will look in my world. The challenge comes in due to the fact it will be a forced move from our home here since the house comes with this position and since MiB will no longer be in this position we must move. Since I must move do I want to stay here where I have been only a short time, do I want to move home, do I want to be a vagabond, do I want to live w/family, friends or what? I also do not have lilBlue to house or watch over so in a sense I have no ties to tend to and will have quite a lot of free time on my hands for the first time in, well, let's not go there, but lilBlue just turned 19, so you get the picture! Those are the big questions swirling around in my brain since last Thursday when official notification came down.
Onward to my thoughts, scattered as they may be:
Have a great weekend! I think since there is rain in the forecast that will be non conducive to surfing we will be looking to take in some movies!
Anyway, here we are, it's Friday...guests will be here for dinner this evening and we have a fancy-smancy function on Saturday night. This week has been meetings, lunches, dinners with friends from past assignments and fun stuff like that. I have also been catching up on some scrap booking. I am organizing the "undone" years and plan to tackle them in the near future. It's not unattainable so I plan to just jump in and do it!
There is change on the horizon and we are trying to map out how that will look, suffice to say we are in the know on our next assignment and the phrase I have been using is, "it's a he, not a we." For those of you that may not quite get it, that means MiB is going back to the BIG sandbox this summer for a 365. I know that is part of the life we lead so I am trying to figure out how that will look in my world. The challenge comes in due to the fact it will be a forced move from our home here since the house comes with this position and since MiB will no longer be in this position we must move. Since I must move do I want to stay here where I have been only a short time, do I want to move home, do I want to be a vagabond, do I want to live w/family, friends or what? I also do not have lilBlue to house or watch over so in a sense I have no ties to tend to and will have quite a lot of free time on my hands for the first time in, well, let's not go there, but lilBlue just turned 19, so you get the picture! Those are the big questions swirling around in my brain since last Thursday when official notification came down.
Onward to my thoughts, scattered as they may be:
- WOW, moving again!
- Life is ever changing!
- I love the weather here...
- We tried Indian food this weekend, yum!
- I am definitely needing to get back in the gym
Have a great weekend! I think since there is rain in the forecast that will be non conducive to surfing we will be looking to take in some movies!
Sunday, January 17, 2010
THAT day- 16 January 1991
16 January 1991
On this date at 11:33 a.m. LilBlue joined the world, weighing in at 5 pounds 9 ounces and 19 inches long, she has grown some, now at 5'4" and just tipping 100 pounds she is an exceptional young woman.
She is energetic, lively.
She is loved, she is lovely.
She has an incredible smile, with dancing eyes.
She is a socialite, but still wants/likes/needs her downtime.
She can eat her weight in mashed potatoes and gravy :p
She is a snacker!
She LOVES Dr. Pepper and Welches Sparkling Grape Juice.
She thrives on music, can sing very well but doesn't for audiences.
She is the one and only in our life, we love her beyond measure; we can't wait to see what the future holds for her and how the Lord will lead and guide her as she continues to navigate her future. We pray for her every single day, for her safety, her success and her happiness.
Happy, Happy Birthday LilBlue, we love you!
On this date at 11:33 a.m. LilBlue joined the world, weighing in at 5 pounds 9 ounces and 19 inches long, she has grown some, now at 5'4" and just tipping 100 pounds she is an exceptional young woman.
She is energetic, lively.
She is loved, she is lovely.
She has an incredible smile, with dancing eyes.
She is a socialite, but still wants/likes/needs her downtime.
She can eat her weight in mashed potatoes and gravy :p
She is a snacker!
She LOVES Dr. Pepper and Welches Sparkling Grape Juice.
She thrives on music, can sing very well but doesn't for audiences.
She is the one and only in our life, we love her beyond measure; we can't wait to see what the future holds for her and how the Lord will lead and guide her as she continues to navigate her future. We pray for her every single day, for her safety, her success and her happiness.
Happy, Happy Birthday LilBlue, we love you!
Thursday, January 14, 2010
Oh boy...
it's a new day, for that I am thankful, the last few have been up and down with anticipation...more on that in the near future. For now I give you this from, believe it or not, Lemony Snicket! Who would've thought.
It is difficult, when faced with a situation you cannot control, to admit that you can do nothing...Lemony Snicket
Chew on that for bit, really waller it around...it's exactly how I feel. If you are keeping up, I made reference to the fact that I live in a holding pattern, I don't say that as a complaint just an observation and how it works in this business, but this quote from Lemony hit square between the eyes.
Thoughts...that's all I got for ya this week and it is enough to keep ya busy IMO :)
It is difficult, when faced with a situation you cannot control, to admit that you can do nothing...Lemony Snicket
Chew on that for bit, really waller it around...it's exactly how I feel. If you are keeping up, I made reference to the fact that I live in a holding pattern, I don't say that as a complaint just an observation and how it works in this business, but this quote from Lemony hit square between the eyes.Thoughts...that's all I got for ya this week and it is enough to keep ya busy IMO :)
Thursday, January 7, 2010
Thursday Thoughts!
Here we are in the first week of the new year and I feel change in the air...of course, I will take it with a grain of salt because change is constant in our world, but it still causes me to ponder, to wonder the "what ifs?" What I have found is that I live in a constant state of change a "holding pattern" if you will. I have always felt this way but the other day I verbalized it to MiB and he was amazed I felt that way. I mean that thought has been swirling around in my head for eons and I thought for sure I had said it in front of him...but I guess not.
I don't dislike this "HP" thing because I think I have just come to accept it. I mean after a few years of living it, it is the norm but it is definitely how I feel. I realize I have felt this way since MiB enlisted in the USAF and we waited word on our first assignment while he was in tech school. Then with that very first move with the USAF I could not go with him since "concurrent travel" had not been approved. Basically, we were moving to a foreign country and had no place to live so MiB had to go first and secure housing for us and then I could come. It was a process that left me hanging in the states for 8 weeks or so. I flew for the first time, alone, half way across the US to Philadelphia then on to Terceira Island in the Azores, Portugal. Talk about a culture shock! No phones, water on even days, electricity that was off more then on and kerosene heaters for warmth.
I won't say it was the best assignment we ever had but it was a great assignment on many levels...we were newlyweds and this was a remote island, no one was running home or calling parents when something went a muck, we only had each other and God. I personally think it was divine planning that gave our marriage a rock solid foundation - one that has kept us grounded for nearly 24 years.
THURSDAY THOUGHTS:
That's it, just one this week :0)
I don't dislike this "HP" thing because I think I have just come to accept it. I mean after a few years of living it, it is the norm but it is definitely how I feel. I realize I have felt this way since MiB enlisted in the USAF and we waited word on our first assignment while he was in tech school. Then with that very first move with the USAF I could not go with him since "concurrent travel" had not been approved. Basically, we were moving to a foreign country and had no place to live so MiB had to go first and secure housing for us and then I could come. It was a process that left me hanging in the states for 8 weeks or so. I flew for the first time, alone, half way across the US to Philadelphia then on to Terceira Island in the Azores, Portugal. Talk about a culture shock! No phones, water on even days, electricity that was off more then on and kerosene heaters for warmth.
I won't say it was the best assignment we ever had but it was a great assignment on many levels...we were newlyweds and this was a remote island, no one was running home or calling parents when something went a muck, we only had each other and God. I personally think it was divine planning that gave our marriage a rock solid foundation - one that has kept us grounded for nearly 24 years.
THURSDAY THOUGHTS:
- God is in control
That's it, just one this week :0)
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
She's gone...
A quick change in flights had lilblue leaving a day early...our girl is quickly preparing to start on another semester of school in MO. The weather in Omaha, her stopover for a few days, is not good today, so yesterday we switched her ticket to get her in before the bad weather hit. Now she has a few days in the big O before flying back to KC on Saturday and driving back up to school on Sunday to begin classes on Monday. The weather is suppose to be clear for the Saturday flight and on Sunday it is looking fine for her drive back to school as well, though I will still be praying until she is safely back at school!
It was delightful to have her around the house these past weeks, it just added something to everyday to have her bounding down the stairs each morning (well, okay, honestly, sometimes it was afternoon before she came down). Still, we will miss her smiling face, her laugh, her hugs.
Hmmmm, how many days til Spring finals??? Okay, let's not wish our time away. She is taking quite a load this semester to include calculus and discreet math, glad it is her and not me! I am not a math girl but that is not to say I can't do a mean to the penny balance on the checkbook :) I certainly can, thank you very much!
Upcoming in our world is the WDW marathon, updates to follow!
It was delightful to have her around the house these past weeks, it just added something to everyday to have her bounding down the stairs each morning (well, okay, honestly, sometimes it was afternoon before she came down). Still, we will miss her smiling face, her laugh, her hugs.
Hmmmm, how many days til Spring finals??? Okay, let's not wish our time away. She is taking quite a load this semester to include calculus and discreet math, glad it is her and not me! I am not a math girl but that is not to say I can't do a mean to the penny balance on the checkbook :) I certainly can, thank you very much!
Upcoming in our world is the WDW marathon, updates to follow!
Friday, January 1, 2010
How did THAT happen?
Oh me, oh my, here IT is, 2010. I am in awe, I mean I never really thought this year would come, it seemed soooooo far away not so long ago. Say even in 1980 something, I just thought, this was not a time I would ever see and well, here IT is and so am I. I am not sure what to think...
So HAPPY NEW YEAR, Happy twenty ten!
I hope it's a great year. I really don't have any "resolutions" to offer from my world. I would say I would like to continue to be happy and healthy, I have no real expectations for this new year, kind of depressing really, when I think about that. But as I am growing, uh, wiser (read that older), I am learning to sort of roll with it, well kind of. That is a huge change for the organizer, planner, somewhat of a control freak in me who is usually in a dither over the continual "holding pattern" we have lived in the past 23 years. Seems we continually deal with an upcoming move, tdy, deployment, etc, not really knowing from one year to the next where we will be, if we will be moving, facing a deployment, tdy or any other form of change in our life. However, I am not thinking about that right now, not that any of those things is an option, they certainly are, every single one of them. I am just choosing to not think of it so much right now. It is what it is. Denial maybe? Not sure!
We rang in the new year movie watching, after an evening of ice skating and dinner with "three doors down" We followed that by coming home to celebrate the arrival of 2010 with a flute of bubbly, laughter and toasts all around, a low key, in house evening that was enjoyable and not amongst the streets of possible DUI drivers! Today was sleeping in, another movie, a check of the waves, cinnamon rolls, quiche, fresh strawberries and just relaxing about the house. There is another movie on tap for this evening and some fajitas for dinner - with guac of course! It's been great having lil'blue here and I am keenly aware that her time with us is winding down. It's been fun, we have done lots of family stuff that we have missed out on these past few months, but there is no way to really catch up on the missed time together so we are trying to make the most of the moments we have with her now!
I recently read this quote and really liked it, so I am sharing it!
"Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future."
- Paul Boese
Again, HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!
So HAPPY NEW YEAR, Happy twenty ten!
I hope it's a great year. I really don't have any "resolutions" to offer from my world. I would say I would like to continue to be happy and healthy, I have no real expectations for this new year, kind of depressing really, when I think about that. But as I am growing, uh, wiser (read that older), I am learning to sort of roll with it, well kind of. That is a huge change for the organizer, planner, somewhat of a control freak in me who is usually in a dither over the continual "holding pattern" we have lived in the past 23 years. Seems we continually deal with an upcoming move, tdy, deployment, etc, not really knowing from one year to the next where we will be, if we will be moving, facing a deployment, tdy or any other form of change in our life. However, I am not thinking about that right now, not that any of those things is an option, they certainly are, every single one of them. I am just choosing to not think of it so much right now. It is what it is. Denial maybe? Not sure!
We rang in the new year movie watching, after an evening of ice skating and dinner with "three doors down" We followed that by coming home to celebrate the arrival of 2010 with a flute of bubbly, laughter and toasts all around, a low key, in house evening that was enjoyable and not amongst the streets of possible DUI drivers! Today was sleeping in, another movie, a check of the waves, cinnamon rolls, quiche, fresh strawberries and just relaxing about the house. There is another movie on tap for this evening and some fajitas for dinner - with guac of course! It's been great having lil'blue here and I am keenly aware that her time with us is winding down. It's been fun, we have done lots of family stuff that we have missed out on these past few months, but there is no way to really catch up on the missed time together so we are trying to make the most of the moments we have with her now!
I recently read this quote and really liked it, so I am sharing it!
"Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future."
- Paul Boese
Again, HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!
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