That was the "what's on your mind" statement I just posted on FB a few minutes ago...really, it's not totally true, but it just sounded right since it is Monday, it is raining and I happen to be down today.
A late night phone call, lots of tears and more late night phone calls and a few texts later and it's a new day...
But the lingering thoughts of what is the outcome really going to be are swirling around my head this morning. I have been, as A would say, "close to tears" all morning. It all started with several phone calls from lil'blue last week who is stressing over school. So much so that she is emotionally overwrought during most of our conversations, so much so, that it rips my guts out to even answer the phone when I see that she is calling. She is as some would say, having a rough go. What can a mom do when she is 1400 miles away? Pray...pray without ceasing as we are told this in Thessalonians, oh trust me, I have been doing that, no question! Then I saw on one of my other FB friends wall this..."The Lord will keep you from all harm --he will watch over your life; the LORD will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore." Psalm 121:7-8 This applies to my child, too. He will keep her from all harm, he will watch over her life and he will watch over her coming and going now and forever. So I find comfort in that, but the reality is I fear for her, for her loneliness, for her dislike of college, for, well, for a lot more reasons then I shall write about to protect her privacy. But let's just say, I would desperately covet your prayers for her, as I feel so far away and unable to physically lessen her worries. I pray that you would remember her as you pray that she finds comfort and an earthly friend to help brighten her days at school. That she would continue to seek out friendships and not retreat to the solitary space of her room; that she see God in the flesh through someone who she crosses paths with, that she is able to spot His hand of mercy, that He radiantly shine upon her today and each day with His favor in her classes.
She is 19 years old, I have to allow her to make choices, to do things in her own way, she must. I cannot always step in to solve things for her, to make her choices. I soooo want her to make decisions (good ones but I know there will be some not so good ones as well), it is part of the maturing process, right?, it is part of the whole becoming an adult. However, it is NOT at all easy to see and especially through phone calls that are tear filled. So thank you for prayers said from a mom who loves her child and is watching from afar as she struggles to successfully find her way on a road that seems to always be uphill,