Thursday, July 28, 2011

Thoughts on Thursday...

My thoughts today are cheerless...if you came looking for a funny story or a laugh you will not find in today.

Another BIG D has hit our family. I have to say in all honesty I had a feeling this day was going to come, in fact, I am surprised that the marriage lasted as long as it did. I recall perfectly the night we got the phone call letting us know that he was getting married...MiB and I both looked at each other and said many prayers that night before going to bed. Honestly, we prayed for something to prevent it from happening cause we both felt it wasn't right.

It was a "rush job" in our opinion (and NO there was not a baby on the way, that's a whole other issue), a decision being made on not such good reasoning. I won't go into that, it's not really my story to tell, but suffice to say MiB and I had our doubts. It's never good to have the "I told you so" card on your side, but there was a solid talk before the wedding took place, he knew he should have never walked the aisle that afternoon and he did it anyway. So here we are some nearly 14 years later and he is walking down the aisle again today! Only this time it is to the judges bench in a courtroom where the gavel will bang down and what was will no longer be. A shame really, due to many, many reasons, many reasons if I so wanted I could probably make a case for ending my very own marriage..if I wanted to be that selfish. Yes, seriously, I think I could have a case for divorcing if I had that mindset. My MiB takes after his dad and some of those characteristics aren't that flattering and we live a military life of lots of stress and separation but thankfully, we worked through this, we come up with ways to love each other unconditionally, to think positive, to not dwell on all the negative. I have my own set of faults in this too! People, there are NO PERFECT PEOPLE, well, excuse me, there was do know what happened to him? Yeah, it wasn't pretty...

So anyway I could go on and on and on, on this, but let me start wrapping up by saying this, I mean if you are still reading to this point I want to say something more encouraging on marriage! Your marriage should be NUMBER ONE! It should be your primary area of concerns, you should be focusing on it ALWAYS. Guard it with your life, make it your goal to make good decisions regarding your marriage, your home. There are people out there who would love to be in your shoes, they will do for your spouse what you do not, they will gladly step in so guard your marriage with your life! If you have children, they are very important but your marriage is more important. I believe the greatest thing we have given LilBlue is our example of marriage and while not perfect she has witnessed give and take, unconditional love between us, working out issues and romance.

As I said I could sooooo go on and on and say sooooo many more things, not even it was his fault, it was her fault things, they both had faults! Trust ME on this one!!! However, the nuts and bolts of it are this: a marriage is over, and like I said they both had their shortcomings, we all do, but seriously there could have been resolution if had been wanted; there could have been happiness many moons ago had there been more of an honest partnership, if you get married it shouldn't be an adversarial atmosphere, your spouse is NOT the enemy. And I think God should play a big should be in it together and for the long haul.

It saddens me to think that people who choose divorce think God is in it and is blessing the mess they made of His holy institution, I mean, really? Are you kidding me? God ain't proud of you...does he still love you? Yes, but he is grieved and unhappy with your choices.

God is not happy about divorce, PERIOD. You can be excited, happy, sad, mad whatever, but rest assured GOD HATES DIVORCE and people who let their marriage go are selfish, self centered, egotistical, disobedient, irresponsible and a whole host of other things that could make your blood pressure rise if it hasn't already... and I hate divorce, too. My parents were divorced, I hated that! I have issues with divorce (not divorced people but divorce, there IS a difference) in case you didn't pick up on that. And if you don't like my stance sorry, it's MY BLOG, I can say pretty much whatever I want cause again, it's my blog to voice my life and things that happen within my life.

My dad did not want a divorce, G did not want a divorce, it stinks to go through this as one of the parties getting the divorce who didn't want it, but let me tell you it royally stunk to be the kid going through it as well. Thankfully, there were no children born into this union; however, their are two that came with the marriage who are now grown and unfortunately screwing up their own lives and those of their children....boundaries people, boundaries. It is my belief that had solid partnership parenting been involved in the rearing of these two you would see a difference in their lives but again that didn't happen and now the result of this is playing out. It isn't pretty from what little I know and the shame of it is the children are now going to be the product of this same type of unhealthy, adversarial environment.

I am going to get off this topic now, it's a downer and again, if I offended you, well...I am sorry for that, I think that stinks, but I make the posts on here and this is how I feel and how I see it and so it is what it is. Tomorrow will be a new day..

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